My Boyfriend can be a Real Idiot
by Bou Darklight
Summary: Harry love Draco, and Draco love Harry, but sometimes, they can be real idiots, both of them. A series of Drabbles, all the explanation, warnings an introduction cause I'm new are inside.
1. An expensive whore

**Rated : M, all my fic will be Rated M, you'll NERVER see a T on this Profile, I've warned you :)**

**Disclamer : All of this belongs to the awesomeness that is J.K Rowling .**

**Note: Why Hello, this is the first time I post an english fanfiction, because I'm a french Canadian, but I've always prefered english to french so, why not ? **

**I've post those two drabbles to give you a little taste of my type of writing, my type of humor. Of course, the goal of a Drabble is, well, I think, is to make laugh and suprise and go; awwwwww at the end. I can write way more darker fics, but since I'm a beginner , I just don't want too go to far :) I'm working on two others Long One-Shots, one is called : _Harry Potter you May Spread your Legs_, and the other is another Drarry of course and it's called...Well I don't know yet, I've entitled my document _How Draco Malfoy Whipes Out Homophobia,_but I'll probably change it, it's just a way to remember my plot :)**

Enjoy, and other Drabbles will be added in a few days, depends on the reception that I get, of course if you guys are going to tell me that it's sucks and all, well I probably won't keep going.

* * *

**A****n Expensive whore **

''I can't fucking believe this! What the bloody fuck were you thinking about?''shouted Draco who was gesticulating with exaggeration over and over, furious,as he ran a shaking hand through his hair, which he normally never did because it would mess his perfect coiffure. The man was furious with his blushing lover.

''Draco, I'm so-'' Harry Potter tried to say while yanking his stockings up nervously.

''Don't.''

''But-''

''My whole fucking family was there! Father'll never look me in the eyes again. He already hates you! Now he's going to think-no, he's going to know that you're

a sick pervert!''

Harry's jaws clenched. He didn't go all the way to France on Valentine's day to get insulted and yelled at.

''And my co-workers! Be happy that they're all French and they don't know you. Because right now your face would be on the front page of The Prophet! And you

thought that my anger right now would be a fucking picnic! ''

Harry looked at his feet. He was right in some ways.

''I'm sorry,'' he mumbled. ''I just...I just thought you'd be pleased to see me. At first it seemed like a g-great idea. I feel and look stupid.'' Just by judging Harry's trembling voice, Draco could tell that the amazing eyes of his lover were starting to fill with tears.

And his rage was gone as fast as it came. The lawyer hated making his boyfriend cry even if it didn't happen very often. He wrapped his strong arms around Harry's fit waist, who was dressed in a black and green, lace corset.

Draco kissed the shell of Harry's ear making him shiver.

''You're crazy. Breaking into my conference room where my mother, father, grand-mother, and many important businessmen dressed in a very, very tight corset, some black knickers, and fishnet stockings with a bow on them. You're a kinky pervert, Harry Potter,'' whispered Draco.

Harry's cheeks flushed, and he looked away from his boyfriend's piercing glance.

''But that's how and why I love you. And clearly, you know what I like.'' The Slytherin ran his hands up and down the Chosen one's arse which were covered by his knickers, enjoying the texture of the silk against his palms.

That made Harry look at him with a surprised grin on his face.

''You like it? Really?''

Draco nodded and began to rub his erection against Harry's tights, who moaned helplessly.

''You look like the most expensive whore I've ever met.'' Harry smirked at the compliment and began to stroke his own erection with provocation, staring at

his lover's eyes.

''How much will you pay me, Monsieur?''


	2. And then, Draco failed

**Rated : M, all my fic will be Rated M, you'll NERVER see a T on this Profile, I've warned you :)**

**Disclamer : All of this belongs to the awesomeness that is J.K Rowling .**

**Note: Why Hello, this is the first time I post an english fanfiction, because I'm a french Canadian, but I've always prefered english to french so, why not ?**

**I've post those two drabbles to give you a little taste of my type of writing, my type of humor. Of course, the goal of a Drabble is, well, I think, is to make laugh and suprise and go; awwwwww at the end. I can write way more darker fics, but since I'm a beginner , I just don't want to go too far :) I'm working on two others Long One-Shots, one is called : _Harry Potter you May Spread your Legs_, and the other is another Drarry of course and it's called...Well I don't know yet, I've entitled my document _How Draco Malfoy Whipes Out Homophobia,_but I'll probably change it, it's just a way to remember my plot :)**

Enjoy, and other Drabbles will be added in a few days, depends on the reception that I get, of course if you guys are going to tell me that it's sucks and all, well I probably won't keep going.

* * *

**FAIL**

Draco was so nervous about the gift he was going to give to his five-months-long lover. He thought about everything from candles to music to

timing. It was Harry's twenty-first birthday and he wanted it to be awesome.

The blond even made the cake himself.

''By yourself?'' Harry gasped with surprise in his green eyes, his mouth full of the chocolate cake, when his boyfriend told him. ''Baby, for a whole weekend, didn't you believe me when I told you that the oven could eat your hands off….'' Draco blushed a tiny, weensy bit.

''Well, I made it! The first two times, one exploded and the other...I...I'd rather not say. So, Blaise helped me the third time,'' he mumbled. Harry pouted.

''Awww, that's so cute, honey. So, give me my present, pretty please. ''

The blond swallowed thickly and cast an Accio on his present. It was a little, velvet blue box, but it was clearly too big for an engagement ring.

''What is it? A watch? A necklace? Oooh, is it a cock-ring, baby?'' said his crazy lover, who was obviously hoping for that. Draco rolled his eyes. His

boyfriend was so twisted sometimes.

''It's a mini-turtle, you twit. I found it two weeks ago.''

Harry's eyes went quickly shockingly round. He loved turtles. The Gryffindor stood up eagerly and kissed and hugged Draco senseless, but when he let the blond breathe, the ebony-haired man frowned.

''The turtle has been in this box during two weeks?'' Draco nodded.

''Yeah, but don't worry. I fed it regularly. But, that's kind of disgusting so

I didn't really look to see if that thing ate. I've always thought that a turtle looked like an old Grand-father-''

''Right...but where are the holes on the box.''

It was the blond's turn to frown now.

'

'Huh?'' With disgust painted on his pretty face, Harry looked in the box.

'

'Oh god...'' he whispered.


End file.
